Sex And Relationships

Teens And Porn

 

Do not fool ourselves, it is not a case of if a young person will be exposed to pornography but when they will be exposed as porn is widely circulated on the internet which our children are surfing every day.

 

According to The Sexualisation of Children, a UK government report published in February 2010. The average teen spends one hundred minutes a week surfing for porn.

 

Finding porn online is easy with free porn sites that can be accessed on the teenager's phones, tablets or computers and this gives them even more of a chance of stumbling across porn sites.

 As young people are naturally curious, if they see a pop-up window they might click on it and be led to a porn site, or be sent links to it in via their junk mail.  They may also feel under pressure by their peers to take a look at porn too. They might be feeling curious if they hear their friends talking about what they saw and want to take a look themselves. 

 

Is Porn Harmful?

Porn is just there to stimulate and arouse and It leads to unrealistic and exaggerated expectations of sex, body image and relationships.

 

Research carried out worldwide shows that people who grow up on a diet of porn have more difficulty forming relationships.  It doesn’t teach you about emotions and love, and it desensitises young people to violence and rape. Men and women are just seen as sex objects and body parts.”

 

EU Kids Online, a study by the London School of Economics and Political Science, found boys appeared more likely than girls to seek out offensive or violent content, to access pornographic content or be sent links to porn websites. It is not uncommon for young people who are viewing porn to get used to the general stuff and not get aroused as much and therefore have a need to seek out much more taboo porn.

 

There are situations where adults in the family have been looking at porn and accidentally left the link open on their screen.  Be aware that the problem isn’t confined to computer use.

 

One show found that an alarming number of teenage girls felt they should imitate pornographic scenes they had seen on the web, and a growing number of girls felt pressured into stripping on webcams for their boyfriends. These images were then sometimes circulated via mobile phone or online. This is a form of sexual bullying and can have horrific consequences for the young people involved.

 

Many young people have said that porn can increase sexual bullying as sexual expectations can become unreasonable and they feel pressured to carry out sexual acts that replicate what has been shown on these films.  It is important to ensure that young people know that they have the right to say no if something makes them feel uncomfortable and to withdraw their consent at any time.

 

Unfortunately, people who watch too much porn can find it hard to relate to others in the real world in terms of sex and relationships which is unfortunately one of the other consequences of porn.  They do not understand that the persons in the porn are acting and not real.

 

How To Deal With Porn and Your Teen
Do not rush to believe that all young people watch porn or that your teen is watching porn if you see the word 'Sex' on his screen, sometimes things pop up and he or she might even ignore it.


However, it is good to get the conversation going about porn and the impact of porn and the negative effects it can have in a general sense. Ensure they know the difference between realistic sex and sensationalised sex.  Sometimes it helps if you say: “What do your friends think about so-and-so?” rather than asking them directly for their view. Try: “I’ve heard people can get porn on their mobiles – what do you think about that?”

 

If you discover your teen watching porn, don’t over-react.  It’s important to stay calm. Say gently; “Can we turn it off?” Then go and do something else until you feel ready to talk.

 

Think carefully before dishing out major punishments, such as grounding. The most important thing is to keep the channels of communication open.  Try asking: – what did you learn from watching that? Is it something that taught you more about love? Stress that porn doesn’t teach about emotional relationships and it is unrealistic.

 

Some teens do post sexual videos of themselves online and may be unaware that they could be breaking the law as it is an offence to post sexual images of anyone under the age of 18, even if it is themselves.  This is a time to put your foot down. Remove the webcam and ensure the computer is always in family areas.  If they have a tablet or phone, take it away at a certain time and limit their use.

 

If they are addicted to porn, be frank and ask yourself  if you feeding their addiction by allowing them to keep a computer in their room because it keeps them quiet?  If you do think there are addiction issues, get help from a psychologist or counsellor as It could affect their concentration, studies and views on sex and relationships.

© 2011 Barbados Children Directory

 

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